Week 3 Day 1: Awareness

Welcome to week three! This week we will talk about awareness. Now that you are working on accepting yourself for who you are, I am sure you are beginning to become aware of who you are. Awareness and acceptance go hand in hand, which one should come first is hard to say. I personally believe if you don't have any acceptance for yourself you are going to have a hard time being aware. As we go through this week remember what we talked about last week: learn about yourself without judgment. As you become aware of certain behaviors and traits, don't be harsh on yourself for them accept them and either move on or figure out what needs to be done next. Ok with all of that said what is awareness?

Awareness is a state of consciousness that allows one the ability to perceive, to feel, be conscious to events, objects or sensory patterns. It is having clarity about who you are and who you want to be. Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, knowing your strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, thoughts, motivations and feelings. It is a way for you to explore your individual self so that you may learn how you react to things, how you learn and how you process information. Awareness is the process of understanding who you truly are.

Why is awareness important? Awareness is important because it allows one to know who they are and then it allows one to make changes in their thoughts, reactions, and perceptions in their minds. It allows one to become fully aware of who they are. Many of us go through life reacting, talking, thinking and we never slow down enough to know what it is we are reacting to, who we are talking to or what we are talking about or to even know what we are thinking. We cannot make changes in our lives if we are not aware of where changes need to be made.

Developing self awareness allows you to practice focusing your attention on the details of your personality and behaviors. When you become self aware you automatically begin to see things about yourself you did not notice before. You will begin to see where you have choices, where you create more drama or where you ignore certain things. You will begin to understand what truly upsets you or angers you. You will learn how to manage and control your emotions. You will be able to become aware of what you think about all day, what your subconscious mind is telling you and how you react and feel about these underlying thoughts you never even knew existed. Self awareness allows you to be truly successful and happy in life.

Awareness is a gift we have been given. Being aware in each and every moment allows us to be present to the life we have created. If you don't like what you see the next question is then, what I am doing to create this image and what can I do to make these changes possible? Awareness is power! "Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment." - Tao Tzu

Day 1 Awareness Challenge: Today just begin to start being aware. Start first with notice your feet on the ground. Take time out today to be fully present and aware of all your surroundings. Start with your external environment today. Notice the color of the car next to you, the way the sun feels on your arm, the feel of your child giving you a hug, the smile of the guy on the street smiling at you, notice the trees, and the clouds, notice colors and feelings. Use your 5 senses today!!

Take time today to use each sense: Taste, Touch, See, Hear, and Smell. Today just become aware of your ability to become aware!

Week 2 Day 5: Self Acceptance and Exercise

As I have mentioned all week long, acceptance is an ongoing process and we are constantly tested time and time again. The key to acceptance is to allow this moment to be a stepping stone into the next. Don't let this moment define you for an eternity, allow it to be a part of the ever changing flow, which we call life. When we truly find acceptance we find what we need so that we can move onto the next chapter in our lives.

Exercise is a great way to practice self acceptance, acceptance of others, and acceptance of where you are at in life. I am a runner. I have been running since I was in eighth grade and am now twenty eight, you would think after sixteen years of running it would be something I have down pat. But those of you who run know that is not the case. Take a month off of running and it will take 2 months to get back to where you were! Running is one of those skills if you don't use it, you lose it. It takes work to keep your running skills up to par. Running is a great place for me to practice acceptance.

The other day I went for a run and it was awful. I wanted to try to add an extra mile and half to my run and just knowing that added some mental stress. The humidity was really thick, I was having a hard time breathing, the heat was getting to me and I just couldn't find a rhythm. I was totally in my mind and my mind was totally telling me I couldn't do it. Now, I know this isn't true, and I realized at this moment I had a choice. I know my body is strong and can handle the run, I know my mind is strong and my soul is stronger, so I know if I wanted to I could of pushed myself , been miserable and eventually I would of finished the run. But then I thought about all this self acceptance stuff and I realized that, that day I wasn't physically prepared to run a longer distance and I had to accept that I was only going to get in my normal distance. I realized that the point wasn't how far I ran, it was to feel good about what I accomplished, not feel bad for what I did not accomplish. So I cut the run short and turned around and headed home. I accepted that on that day I was not going to run the longest run ever, and I was ok with that because I felt good about getting a run in at all. And that is the point, to do things that bring you joy, to find the things that make you feel whole.

Accepting yourself is accepting yourself in this moment for who you are. Each moment leads into the next, and the next moment wouldn't seem so great without this moment first. Accept where you are, in this moment, with an open mind to learn and a willingness to grow and you will always be where you want to be! Exercise can help you with self acceptance as you learn new moves and new techniques, they may seem uncomfortable at first, but you accept where you are at knowing you still have time to learn. And as you keep practicing you begin to notice how good you get at it, but you could never be good if you never practiced! So in everything that you do be gentle with yourself, don't judge others harshly, and accept each moment as is, because no moment will ever be the exact same!

Week 2 Day 4: Self Acceptance Exercises

Week 2 Day 4: Self - Acceptance Exercises

As we continue to talk about acceptance I am sure you have begun to become aware of either how much you do or don't accept yourself. This process takes time, so please be gentle and kind with yourself. This is the first step to accepting yourself! Today I am sharing with you two really cool exercises that are going to help you achieve your own self acceptance.

Part of accepting yourself is accepting your body. In a society where body image is everything and it seems only the rich and super thin can achieve their dreams it is no wonder that so many of us feel like we fall short in comparison. First we must realize that comparing ourselves to others is truly a matter of comparing apples and oranges. We are all such individuals there is no comparison, we all bring something different to the table. The Mirror Exercise is the first one. This exercise is tough and can feel very intimate, but it is a great way to gain body acceptance. In the Mirror Exercise you will stand naked in front of a full length mirror and by using the power of the mind you can re-train you subconscious to truly accept your body, by repeating out loud: "I accept myself, in this moment, just the way I am." The full instructions to this exercise are posted below. As you are participating in this exercise notice the ease at which you are able to accept your body and say words of acceptance with feeling and emotion. Really believe what you are telling yourself. Accepting gives you power and can promote a meaningful change in your life. Say, "that is me and I accept it." Then be motivated to change, if that is something you want to do, and believe it is possible!

The next exercise is designed to help you deal with the negative thoughts that run your subconscious. I hope that as you have been taking more notice of who you are, you have begun to also notice that our subconscious minds can really torment us. We make a mistake or hurt someone's feeling and automatically our subconscious is telling us what a bad person we are. We lose our job and all of a sudden we are a failure. We base our self worth on our actions and behaviors instead of on who we truly are. People make mistakes, it is how we learn and grow, but we can't learn and grow if we can't accept our mistakes and move on without putting ourselves down. We have to learn how to not be so hard on ourselves. Heck I know I am awful at this, I never feel like it is good enough, but that is just my subconscious , which is already programmed to tell me so. It is easy to allow our bad behaviors to defined us, but in reality we are neither our good or bad behaviors. We are neither good people or bad people, we are all people, beautiful people who all deserve love and self love. Below you will find this exercise as well.

Take time to do both of these exercises and always take notes. It is great to go back and see where you started so you can see how far you have come!

1. Mirror Exercise: www.anunda.com

The Mirror Exercise: Simple Instructions

1. This exercise will achieve the maximum benefit if repeated at the same time every day for a period of about 10 to 15 minutes. The most powerful times are at sunrise and sunset.
   
   The second most beneficial times are first thing on getting up in the morning and last thing before going to bed at night. If these times are impossible, then you can set aside two other times for you when you will not be disturbed.

2. You will require a full length mirror with a space in front of it so that you can stand fully naked in front of the mirror and be able to see the whole of your body.
   
   The room should be of a comfortable temperature so that you are neither too hot nor too cold.
   
   In standing in front of the mirror, place your feet "shoulder width" apart .. so that, if you were to draw a line straight down to the floor from the outside edge of your shoulders this line will touch the outside of your foot. Allow your weight to be evenly distributed on each foot.

3. Spend a few moments taking in the whole of the reflection of you, and then focus your attention on a point on your forehead, exactly between your eyes and about 2 cm or 1 in above the line of your eyes.

4. During the whole of this exercise, the mantra which you should repeat to yourself (out aloud so that your body hears your voice) is
   "I accept myself, in this moment, just the way I am"
   
   I have written this "mantra" in English, but you will gain a greater benefit if you translate it into your "native" language - and if your mother spoke another language or dialect when you were in her womb, the use of this translation will also be beneficial.

5. During the whole of the exercise, place your hands, palms pushed together in front of you. As you initially do this, feel the pressure on your palms, up through your arms, across your shoulders, back and chest. This is the pressure between left and right, male and female, past and future.
   
   Somewhere in the centre, you will (with practice) find a space of "no pressure" - this is the centre of your being and it will be somewhere in the middle of your body in a direct line with your visual focus on your forehead. [ more on the significance of the hands ]

6. During the whole of the period, you should "imagine" that on one breath cycle, you are breathing in through the top of your head and filling your centre then breathing out through the soles of your feet.
   
   The next breath cycle is the reverse - in through the soles of the feet to your centre and out through the top of the head.
   
   As you breathe, allow your sense of hearing to focus on the sound the breath makes as it moves through your body.
   
   During the breathing, allow the out-breath to release any thoughts, impressions and feelings that may arise - using the in-breath to "fill" the empty space created by the release of the thought.
   
   With practice, you should be able to find a gap between the in-breath out-breath in-breath and you may find that you "drop" into it. You cannot create this "gap". [ The Breath that is you ]

Comment.

It may be necessary to practice this exercise a few times before it "happens" by itself and all of the stages "fall" into place. Do not look for any outcome - just practice for the practice and, after a certain time of releasing all of your discomfort, the practice will "do you".

When it does this, you will know and the experience will be yours alone. I have seen people heal from incurable cancers and all sorts of other physical and mental illnesses from following this practice "religiously" every day for years .. and it is still my own practice …the most complete and the "simplest" in the long run. (Mira's Story)

Please Note: If you consciously use this exercise to involve another person for ANY reason, the probable outcome is that you will immediately take on every subconscious and unconscious dis-ease that the other person may be afflicted with. There will be no personal healing benefit for yourself and what you will "take on" is almost irreversible.

This mirror exercise is between yourself and your own naked reflection.

2. Self -Acceptance Exercise www.smartrecovery.org

SELF-ACCEPTANCE EXERCISE

Instructions: This exercise is designed to help you challenge the belief that if you've failed at something, or if someone criticizes or rejects you, you are a totally hopeless failure.

To overcome your irrational thinking leading to low self-acceptance, complete the top half of the circle by filling in the appropriate spaces with pluses (+ 's) for the things you do well at work or school and with minuses (-'s) for the things you don't do so well. Then complete the bottom half of the circle by writing in things you do well and things you like about yourself, as well as things you don't do well or don't like about yourself.

REST OF LIFE

To counter the tendency to put yourself down when things aren't going so well, ask yourself the following questions:
Does this bad situation (mistake, failure, rejection, criticism) take away my good qualities?
Does it make sense to conclude that "I am totally hopeless" because of one or more negative things that have happened?


THOUGHTS TO HELP INCREASE SELF-ACCEPTANCE


1. I'm not a bad person when I act badly; I am a person who has acted badly.
2. I'm not a good person when I act well and accomplish things; I am a person who has acted well and accomplished things.
3. I can accept myself whether I win, lose, or draw.
4. I would better not define myself entirely by my behavior, by others' opinions, or by anything else under the sun.
5. I can be myself without trying to prove myself.
6. I am not a fool for acting foolishly. If I were a fool, I could never learn from my mistakes.
7. I am not an ass for acting asininely.
8. I have many faults and can work on correcting them without blaming, condemning, or damning myself for having them.
9. Correction, yes! Condemnation, no!
10. I can neither prove myself to be a good nor a bad person. The wisest thing I can do is simply to accept myself.
11. I am not a worm for acting wormily.
12. I cannot "prove" human worth or worthlessness; it's better that I not try to do the impossible.
13. Accepting myself as being human is better than trying to prove myself superhuman or rating myself as subhuman.
14. I can itemize my weaknesses, disadvantages, and failures without judging or defining myself
by them.
15. Seeking self-esteem or self-worth leads to self-judgments and eventually to self-blame. Self- acceptance avoids these self-ratings.
16. I am not stupid for acting stupidly. Rather, I am a non-stupid person who sometimes produces stupid behavior.
17. I can reprimand my behavior without reprimanding myself.
18. I can praise my behavior without praising myself.
19. Get after your behavior! Don't get after yourself.
20. I can acknowledge my mistakes and hold myself accountable for making them -but without berating myself for creating them.
21. It's silly to favorably judge myself by how well I'm able to impress others, gain their approval, perform, or achieve.
22. It's equally silly to unfavorably judge myself by how well I'm able to impress others, gain their approval, perform, or achieve.
23. I am not an ignoramus for acting ignorantly.
24. When I foolishly put myself down, I don't have to put myself down for putting myself down.
25. I do not have to let my acceptance of myself be at the mercy of my circumstances.
26. I am not the plaything of others' reviews, and can accept myself apart from others'
evaluations of me.
27. I may at times need to depend on others to do practical things for me, but I don't have to emotionally depend on anyone in order to accept myself. Practical dependence is a fact! Emotional dependence is a fiction!
28. I am beholden to nothing or no one in order to accept myself.
29. It may be better to succeed, but success does not make me a better person.
30. It may be worse to fail, but failure does not make me a worse person.

Week 2 Day 2: Accepting Others

Yesterday we talked about self acceptance and how important it is. Today we will talk about accepting others, because truly you are not accepting yourself if you cannot accept others. We are raised in a society where everything is categorized. We are always trying to either avoid or fit into a specific stereotype. We judge certain actions and behaviors that we swear we would never do, we carry ourselves around picking and choosing what works for us. which we should do, yet we should also then understand, accept, and cherish that other people will find their own way, their own corks, and do things in their own style. We should not judge them for not doing what we are doing or doing things differently. We must accept others for who they are.

This is so important because people come into your life as some sort of reflection of yourself. I'd like to take a moment here and explain that your mind is very powerful. Your mind creates what you experience. So when you find yourself annoyed, hurt, bothered or angry with someone, stop for a second and think about what it is that is truly bothering you. Are they zoning in on a quality about yourself you have yet to accept? Are they acting in a way you are too scared to act yourself? We often times get annoyed with people for doing things we are too scared to do ourselves, or things we believe we should not do, but deep down we want to. When you stop and use your mind for a moment to analyze the situation, you will begin to see more clearly that either what you are upset about or angry about isn't going to get solved by being angry or upset. (sometimes we do have to cry I am not saying that lol) But we have to remember that a lot of times are reactions to people are automatic and we really aren't sure why we are reacting the way we are until we begin to look inward. Until we begin to look at how our brain is wired, it will continue to operate without changing. Through other people we are able to learn so much about ourselves. When we admire qualities in a person that is a reflection of the good in us. When we see the beauty of another person that is the beauty with in you. When we see the love between a man and a woman, a mother and her son that is a reflection of the love we have within us.

When we accept others we are accepting ourselves. We are each an individual reflection of perfection. We are each beautiful and full of life, strength, courage and knowledge. We can all be who we want to be if we chose it. If we chose to accept ourselves and chose to accept each other. We must chose to accept each other with gratitude and love. For if we were all the same how boring would that be? What new inventions would be created? What new world would be explored? Remember we are all perfect in our own way, there is no one way.

Accepting Others Challenge :

Meditation: Sit in a quiet place, feet planted on the floor. Close your eyes and begin to breathe and relax. Allow the energy of the earth to flow through you. Let your mind find quietness and just breathe. Once you feel quiet and relaxed bring into focus a person you love. Notice all the good qualities about them admire them. Really feel gratitude and love for this person. Spend a few minutes doing this with however many people you chose and write down all their qualities you like. Then look at each quality individually and picture yourself with those amazing qualities. Accept yourself as awesome, just like you accepted your friends as awesome. Enjoy the good feeling, give your friends love and give yourself love. Once you have accepted it for what it is, let it go.

Now bring to mind someone you may have tension with. Do the same thing but this time focus on what it is that hurts, bothers, annoys etc. Picture them and understand these behaviors and write them down, now look at your list and see what it is about yourself that could be found in that behavior. Don't judge yourself and don't judge others, just learn and accept. Also realize how this reflection of your behavior means it is a reflection of someone else's behavior and you can also learn how to accept them for them by finding the connection. Deal with these behaviors. Then watch them float away. Accepting it for what it is and moving on. Accepting those you love and those you don't love, but realizing in the end we are all equal.

In the end we all have good qualities and bad qualities. You will probably have people who show up on both lists. Especially those closest to you. This is how we can begin to see and connect with those in our lives and learn how to better communicate within ourselves and with others. By accepting others we not only accept ourselves and find more peace in our lives, we can find more peace within our relationships as well. We have the ability to have everything we want in life if we just accept you can't have the good without the bad, and the good always wins!