Week 3 Day 3: You Are What You Think!

We often hear you are what you eat, which makes a lot of sense doesn't it? Well if you are what you eat, then you are also what you think. And more than likely what you think about yourself determines what you eat. So at the end of the day, you are what you think. Yesterday we talked about self awareness and how answering questions about ourselves can help us to better understand our thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions to our external and internal world. We will continue with this process and today talk about how these thoughts create either the life you want or don't want. As you become more aware of what you think you will be able to become more aware of when you have a choice to think differently about something.

Many of us go throughout our day acting and reacting to things and we are not even aware of what we are thinking about that causes us to react the way we do. We think negatively and experience negative things, call our friends complain about those negative things and then we wonder why our lives are they way they are. You can either create a life you want or a life you don't want based on your thoughts. If you are dwelling on bad stuff, it will find you more quickly and readily. The more negative we think the more negativity we generate.

The opposite is also true. The more positively we think the more positively we will experience life. Life is always a choice. We always have the option to chose suffering or learning, to choose anger or happiness, to choose to think positive or negative. Buddha said, "We think, we become." If you think you can you will, if you think you can't you won't. It truly is that simple.

We all have an inner dialogue that goes on and on all day long. Sometimes we are conscious of this dialogue and other times we are so disconnected we are completely unaware of what we are thinking. This inner dialogue is what creates either a positive or negative outlook on life. In doing research for this article I came across an adorable little story.

TINY FROGS:

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs ... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...

The race began... No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: "Oh, WAY too difficult!!" "They will NEVER make it to the top." The tiny frogs began collapsing. The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!" More tiny frogs got tired and gave up... ...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher... This one wouldn't give up! He was the only one who reached the top! All of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out that the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story:

· Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. They take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

· Always think of the power words have. Everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

· BE POSITIVE! And above all, be DEAF when people tell you that you cannot fulfill your dreams! Always think: I can do this!

Start to take notice of your inner dialogue. Are you telling yourself you can't do something or are you allowing others to tell you, you can't do things? What thoughts are running you? Your thoughts become your words, your actions, your habits. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is habit." Socrates. So then failure is also a habit, which can be reversed. We can reverse our habits, by reversing our thoughts.

You can change your attitude, your perception, your life by changing the way you think. To change your dialogue you must catch it in action, which means you have to be paying attention to yourself. The next time you start to feel angry, mad, bad or upset, don't start asking yourself who did this to you, don't try to point the finger at someone to blame, ask yourself, "what have I been thinking?" "What have I been telling myself?" You may notice that your thoughts are what is leading you to feel a certain way. We like to blame others, but we always have control over our own emotions. When people say things that are hurtful, we must stop and ask ourselves why we believe what they say, unless this is something we are telling ourselves. We always have a choice! We can choose to not let someone else's words hurt us or effect us. We don't have to make a mountain out of a mole hill. We can stay calm in the face of crazy if we chose to, if we chose to think positively, if we choose to stay present. Our thoughts are a choice, what do you chose?

One way to overcome negative thinking is to use positive affirmations. I love to do this. Actually all around my desk I have quotes and poems that remind me to think positively. I have a vision board of what I want out of life. I had noticed that for me, I was more ungrateful for what I didn't have, instead of being grateful for what I did have. We must start focusing on what we want out of life, not what we don't want, on what we can do, not what we can't do, on what we are good at, not what we are bad at. When we work on our positive qualities we create positive habits and old, negative qualities and habits will fall away. Always focus on the positive. There really is good in every situation, even if you can't see it in that moment; trust that is what is meant to be, will be and you will find the worry and negativity will slip away more and more each day.

Daily Affirmation Challenge: Over the next week each day pick an affirmation, write it down and put it in several different places. You can pick as many affirmations as you want really, but what I want you to do is to tell yourself this affirmation at least 20 times a day. Keep a record of it somewhere. Notice that as you fill your head with positive thoughts you begin to experience a more positive life! You can wash out the old, by bringing in the new. Like a dirty glass of water, it does not need to be emptied and washed to be clean, just fill it up with clean water and eventually the clean water will clear out the old naturally!

Positive Daily Affirmations for Abundance

1. All the things I want and need come to me.

2. I always receive more than what I need.

3. I have a bank account with more than enough.

4. I am an abundant person.

5. I create abundance in all that I say and do.

6. I accept abundance.

7. I welcome, and am open to receive all abundance that comes.

8. I draw abundance to myself today and every day.

Success Affirmations

I am Successful

Positive Daily Affirmations For Success

Examples of positive daily affirmations for success include:

1. I am successful.

2. Everything I do turns into success.

3. I am filled with success.

4. Success comes effortlessly to my direction.

5. My success is contagious, other people like it, seek it and respect it.

6. I attract positive-minded people to me; I draw all things positive to myself.

7. I am very fortunate to work at what I love to do.

8. I make powerful and enjoyable business relationships and many of my business contacts are now my friends.

Relationship Affirmations

I have happy relationships.

Positive Daily Affirmations For Relationships

Examples of positive daily affirmations for relationships include:

1. I am a confident and positive person, and confident and positive persons gravitate toward me everyday.

2. I know who I obviously am and what I like in personal relationships.

3. I am attracting powerfully positive and healthy people into my life.

4. I am caring, smart, supportive, loyal, and fun to be with.

5. I feel completely at ease and comfortable with all types of people.

6. I am winning in all my relationships.

7. I am a positive and valuable contributor to my relationships.

8. I possess complete ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings to everyone, and I express myself wisely.

Self Esteem Affirmations

Positive Daily Affirmations For Self Esteem

Examples of positive daily affirmations for self esteem include:

1. I am sure of my ability to do what is necessary to improve my life.

2. If I make mistakes, I am able to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

3. I feel basically worthy as a person.

4. I am able to take risks and try new things without fear.

5. I feel good about the way I do my job.

6. I feel about myself pretty much what others think of me.

7. I have compassion for myself and the way my life has developed.

8. I am deserving of all the good things in my life.

Health Affirmations

1. I am healthy

2. I am strong

3. I am whole, perfect and complete.

Positive Daily Affirmations For Health

Examples of positive daily affirmations for health include:

1. I am glowing with health and wholeness.

2. I behave in ways that promote my health more every day.

3. I deserve to be in perfect health.

4. I am highly motivated to exercise my body because I find exercise as fun.

5. I love nutritious healthy food, and I enjoy eating fresh fruits and vegetables.

6. I am healthy since my practices are healthy.

7. I let go of the past so I can create health now.

8. I create health by expressing love, understanding and compassion.

Week 3 Day 2: How to Achieve Self Awareness

Great, we now that we know what awareness is and we understand the concept, how the heck to we actually gain self awareness? " People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." -Ralph Waldo Emerson We are so unaware of what we think or how we feel about things we hardly realize that we are creating our own reality, and if you see something you don't like, it is most likely because you are unaware that you, yourself are creating your life, and the only way to make changes is to gain a sense of self awareness. Gaining a sense of self awareness will help you not only get to know yourself, but to get know others, you will begin to see how you react to things, how you connect things that don't connect, how much you either live in the past or in the future, and how much potential life has when we live in the preset. Gaining self awareness is yet another life long process. We are constantly growing and changing, we need to be aware so that we can remain present, so that we may get the most out of this life while we are here!

We can gain self awareness through asking ourselves questions. When it comes to the topic of you, only you know yourself best. The answers to these questions will show you reflections of who you are to the outside world as well as a reflection of your inner self. As the questions get deeper your answers will become more meaningful. The questions I have provided for you are like layers. Each question will bring you closer and closer to your true self, to the center of your being. As yourself awareness grows you will begin to understand why you behave as you do. Being aware of this is power, here you now have an opportunity to make changes about yourself and create the life you have always wanted and become the person you have always wanted to be.

Here are some tips on how to answer the questions: 1. Be a specific as you can. The more specific your answers, the more impact they will have and the clearer your picture of yourself will be. 2. Don't judge yourself while you answer these questions. These are not accusations, no one is pointing a finger at you, so don't be hard on yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself. 3. Let it flow. Don't over analyze and over think the questions. Just let yourself naturally answer the question. If you feel like saying, "I don't know." take a guess anyways and answer the question. You will be surprised when you know more than you think you did! 4. Be totally HONEST! Don't lie to yourself, the only person you are hurting is you. It takes courage to answers these questions, and you have all the courage you need! The only thing you should be scared of is not knowing who you are, is not being present in this world and letting life slip by without a second glance. Take time to get know yourself so you can make the best out of your life. You are an amazing person, take time to get know that about yourself! Monitor your feelings as you answer questions, notice if you are asking yourself how you should feel or if you are asking yourself how you really feel. Just get in touch with what you are feeling and thinking.

As you uncover new things about yourself let go of what does not serve you anymore so that you may make room for new things to come. Whatever you discover about yourself, handle with acceptance and grace. Trust yourself as you answer the questions, let them lead you to deeper knowledge about yourself. Get to know where you are in life, what your fears, hopes and dreams are. Get to know yourself so you can let go of unwanted fears and live in hope! You have to know where you are before you can get where you are trying to go. Create the life you want by discovering something new about yourself everyday!

Below are the Questions. There are several different categories so that you may get to know yourself in all aspects of life. Have fun answering the questions, take your time, and enjoy getting to know the best person out there!

Social

What type of people do I enjoy spending time with?
(intelligent, open-minded, out-going, self-righteous, reflective, quiet, funny, a bit sad, optimists, readers, pessimists, thinkers, sports-minded, active, perceptive, debaters, joke-tellers, etc.)

Why do I enjoy those specific qualities in people?

Do I seek out people similar as I, or different from me? Why is that?

Do I have many friends as I just described? Why or why not?

How many close friends do I want based on the amount of time I have?

What would those close relationships look like? What would be the biggest aspects? (talking, shared activities, working on projects together, laughter, storytelling, playing games, etc.)

What are two of the most favorite things I enjoy doing with others?

Where have I met most of the friends I currently have?
(family, work, community, childhood, online, etc.)

What does where I met these friends tell me about myself?

Why am I still friends with those people?

What is the single biggest attitudinal change I’d like to make when with people? (be more myself, be more out-going, be more honest, initiate more conversations, be more comfortable, be more open, be funnier, interrupt less, initiate more activities, etc.)

Emotional

List three situations and/or times when you were the most happy in your life. Specific instances...What elements were present when I felt that way? How was I feeling about myself during those times?

What do I fear most in my life right now? Why? What would it mean if that happened?

When do I feel the most angry or frustrated? What is it about those situations that I feel that way?

What is my definition of love? (not Webster’s)

What are my primary beliefs about love? (it’s easy, scary, short-lived, feels good, not possible, difficult, etc.) Where/when did I acquire those beliefs? Do I still believe them? Why or why not?

Do I have much control over my emotions? Why or why not?

What emotions do I want to feel most of the time?

Significant Relationship

If NOT currently in a marriage/life partnership/relationship

What specific characteristics do I want my ideal life partner to possess? (generosity, open-mindedness, funny, gentle, strong personality, quiet, organized, similar beliefs about politics, finances, parenting, etc, fun, honest, similar goals, attractive, playful, out-going, etc.)

Why do I want them to have those characteristics?

How would I feel if I never had a life partner? Why would I feel that way?

If currently in a marriage/life partnership/relationship

Am I happy in my current relationship? Why or why not?

What is the biggest problem I see in the relationship?

In what way would I like my partner to change? Why is that important to me?

Could I be happy if that person did not change? Why or why not?

What did I appreciate about this person when I first met/knew them?

What do I appreciate about them now?

Why are those qualities important to me?

What is the single biggest attitudinal change I could make that would enhance this relationship?

Spiritual / Ethics

Do I believe in god? If not, how do I believe the universe operates? Why do I believe that?

How has my childhood effected my beliefs about God/or lack there of?

What characteristics do I believe God possesses? Why do I believe that?

What is my relationship with this God/Universe?
Is it the relationship I want? Why or why not?

In what way does my spiritual beliefs effect my day-to-day life?

Do I have a code of conduct that I follow? If no, do I want one? Why or why not? If yes, what is it and why those codes?

Financial

What beliefs did I “take on” from my parents in regards to money? (it's difficult to get, it's scarce, you should only have so much, it's easy to make, having it /not having it says something about me, live for the moment, give it away, I'll never have enough, it's a secret, saving is important, etc)

What does money mean/represent to me?
(security, aliveness, freedom, love, peace of mind, etc)

Do I feel peaceful or anxiety in regards to money?
Why do I feel that way about it?

How much money do I feel I deserve to make a year? Why that amount?

What would it mean to me if I made more or less than that amount? Why do I believe that?

Career

What types of things did I enjoy doing as a child? (building things, drawing, sports, writing, solving puzzles, being with animals, my chemistry set, organizing games, talking, anything physical, playing house, cowboys and Indians, etc) Do I do anything today that has similar qualities to it?

How do I currently earn my livelihood? How did I come to be so employed?

What was present during the times I loved my work?
What were the elements present in those situations?

Am I currently doing the type of work I love to do?
If not, what type of work would I like to do?
If yes, what would have to change for me to enjoy it more?
What attitudinal change could I make to enjoy it more?

What has stopped me so far from pursuing the type of work I love? Do I want to continue allowing that to stop me? What could I do to change that?

What is my definition of success? (not Webster’s) that?

Personal

What skills have I acquired that I'm proud of?

What accomplishments am I proud of?

Beginning when I was a child, what are the 10 most significant events in my life? Why did I make them significant?

What period of my life do I like most? Why?
What period of my life do I like least? Why?

What are five of my greatest strengths?

What do I desire most right now? Why do I desire that?

If I was to receive an award, what would I want that award to be for? Why that?

If I was to pick out a general theme that showed up often while answering these questions, what would that theme be? What does it mean? How do I feel about that?

Personal Definitions

In addition to asking yourself questions, you may also want to investigate your personal definitions of common words. I know when I went through this process of self awareness, I found I only had a very general sense of the meaning of words. It wasn’t until I came up with my own precise and specific definitions, that their meaning became clear. Although my definitions were not that drastically different from the dictionary’s, the words had more impact on my life once I defined them myself.

What is YOUR definition of the following words?
- love - success - honesty - happiness - soul - true - acceptance - innerpeace	- trust - appreciation - knowing - believe - reality - fear - joy - judgment	- anger - mistake - sex - friend - guilt - intention - responsibility - myself

Week 3 Day 1: Awareness

Welcome to week three! This week we will talk about awareness. Now that you are working on accepting yourself for who you are, I am sure you are beginning to become aware of who you are. Awareness and acceptance go hand in hand, which one should come first is hard to say. I personally believe if you don't have any acceptance for yourself you are going to have a hard time being aware. As we go through this week remember what we talked about last week: learn about yourself without judgment. As you become aware of certain behaviors and traits, don't be harsh on yourself for them accept them and either move on or figure out what needs to be done next. Ok with all of that said what is awareness?

Awareness is a state of consciousness that allows one the ability to perceive, to feel, be conscious to events, objects or sensory patterns. It is having clarity about who you are and who you want to be. Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, knowing your strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, thoughts, motivations and feelings. It is a way for you to explore your individual self so that you may learn how you react to things, how you learn and how you process information. Awareness is the process of understanding who you truly are.

Why is awareness important? Awareness is important because it allows one to know who they are and then it allows one to make changes in their thoughts, reactions, and perceptions in their minds. It allows one to become fully aware of who they are. Many of us go through life reacting, talking, thinking and we never slow down enough to know what it is we are reacting to, who we are talking to or what we are talking about or to even know what we are thinking. We cannot make changes in our lives if we are not aware of where changes need to be made.

Developing self awareness allows you to practice focusing your attention on the details of your personality and behaviors. When you become self aware you automatically begin to see things about yourself you did not notice before. You will begin to see where you have choices, where you create more drama or where you ignore certain things. You will begin to understand what truly upsets you or angers you. You will learn how to manage and control your emotions. You will be able to become aware of what you think about all day, what your subconscious mind is telling you and how you react and feel about these underlying thoughts you never even knew existed. Self awareness allows you to be truly successful and happy in life.

Awareness is a gift we have been given. Being aware in each and every moment allows us to be present to the life we have created. If you don't like what you see the next question is then, what I am doing to create this image and what can I do to make these changes possible? Awareness is power! "Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment." - Tao Tzu

Day 1 Awareness Challenge: Today just begin to start being aware. Start first with notice your feet on the ground. Take time out today to be fully present and aware of all your surroundings. Start with your external environment today. Notice the color of the car next to you, the way the sun feels on your arm, the feel of your child giving you a hug, the smile of the guy on the street smiling at you, notice the trees, and the clouds, notice colors and feelings. Use your 5 senses today!!

Take time today to use each sense: Taste, Touch, See, Hear, and Smell. Today just become aware of your ability to become aware!