“Stress is not what happens to us. It's our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose.
— Maureen Killoran
As we enter week 4 I hope you can see a common thread between each topic, and that is choice. We always have a choice. We may not get to pick the situation, we may not get to choose how things go, but we can ALWAYS choose how we feel, how we think and how we react. As you have been studying and becoming more aware of your own thoughts and behaviors, I am sure you are beginning to see where certain thoughts and actions are autopilot and how acting on autopilot rarely serves you. Being present is hard work. It is easy to hold onto the past and let that shape your future; but when we fully let each moment be for what it is we are able to see life in a new light. We are able to see that in each moment there is a choice: either to accept the moment with love and gratitude or to reject the moment with judgment, critique and a need to change it. When we truly learn how to accept each moment as is we are consciously making a choice to be present.
This week we will talk about attitude and perception and how they affect the choices you make, the thoughts you create and the actions you choose to act upon. First I would like to talk a little bit about my experience with attitude and perception. A need to change my attitude and my perception of life is what led me to start learning, growing and challenging myself about 3 years ago. I have always been a pretty positive person, but at this point in my life things we rough and I was only making it worse by holding onto old feelings, keeping a negative a attitude and not changing my perception.
As I began to study myself I began to notice how much I complained constantly. The chatter in my mind was always stressed, always annoyed, always complaining, so of course I was not happy. I was miserable! I would blame it on everything around me. It was never my fault I was unhappy, it was always someone else, something else, out of my control... or so I thought. I lived in a world where I was constantly comparing my life to others lives and thinking my life "should" be like this, I "should" be doing that, We "should"... Should, should, should... like they say in yoga I was shoulding so much I was literally shoulding all over myself! Instead of accepting my life for what it was and being grateful, I was more worried about everyone else. I was being ungrateful for what I didn't have instead of being grateful for what I did have. I was trying to fit myself into some sort of category that really didn't exist.
As I became aware of how I was thinking, I then became aware of my negative attitude and negative perception of life. I was always waiting to be punished for anything wrong I did, I didn't believe I deserved to be happy, heck I didn't think it was possible! But as a psychology major, as I began to read about the power our thoughts hold, I began to realize only I was responsible for creating my own unhappiness. Just because things went wrong did that I mean I was an awful person? Just because a bill didn't get paid or my son watched TV too long one day, did that make me a no good mom? NO!!!!! It was hard to convince myself of that, but I worked hard. I have spent a lot time at yoga, I do a lot of meditation, and spend time praying and reading the Bible. I realized what I needed to do
I needed to clear out (and I should mention I still am working on all of this!!) all the old negative thought patterns, negative attitude and negative perceptions so that I could then fill my head with positive thoughts, affirmations, a positive attitude and clear perception on what is really going on in life. In the past three years of doing this I will say my life has made dramatic changes, and that is because my mind has made dramatic changes. Things are not always easy, but I refuse to let that make me unhappy.
Happiness, peace, joy and love are always available to you if you chose to be available for it. Open your heart and open your mind! Don't be hard on yourself, don't get mad because you complain. Just take notice and accept and figure out how next time you can think something differently, how you can make a different choice. This is where our power lies, in between each choice we make, in between each thought we think - we can either choose to be happy or not - but no matter what at the end of the day- it is always your choice and your choice alone.
Today's challenge: Choose to see the good in everything, especially yourself!!
At times I'm so discouraged with problems of the day, I fail to see THE JOYFUL THINGS that are along the way; When troubles overwhelm me it's then my nerves may fray, that's when I need to take the time to simply sit and pray; I must try to remember though problems come my way, not to miss THE JOYFUL THINGS and the beauty of the day.
— Author Unknown
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